This holiday season has been a whirlwind, as expected, beginning with my family's arrival in Paris, my carte de sejour meeting, our colorful weekend excursion to Barcelona, my family's departure, as well as the departure of many of my friends here, the Family's family's arrival and departure, and somewhere in there we celebrated Christmas and New Year's! It was wonderful seeing my family, especially spending relaxed time in Barcelona together. We got on each others' nerves just the right amount :) But seriously, it was wonderful sharing European adventures with them. Sadly, once my family vacation ended, I had time to look around and notice how much my life had changed and would change in the coming months. My friends who were studying abroad in Paris and Europe had gone home, along with my good friend here, Alena. She's no longer returning to France. Those of you who know me well know that I really like my routines - surprises and spontaneity are fantastic, but I also need some grounding. You may also know that relationships are very important to me and I, the major talker and over-thinker that I am, cherish close friendships and having friends who know me well (facilitates the talking, listening, understanding, analyzing, of course). I have some absolutely incredible friends in the US - friends that I cannot wait to reunite with once stateside!!! - but I had made some nice and fun friends here with whom I had explored much of Paris and had some great times. Without them and our vague routines, I knew my life here would change drastically.
Naturally with the new year on the horizon, I also began evaluating my life and considering what would follow my French excursion. The answer? Still no idea. For me - quite unsettling. All in all, perhaps you can imagine that I had a rough couple of days trying to regroup and find my grounding again. After reading The Alchemist, talking with my mom, friends, and the Family here (and doing loooots of thinking...) things turned on a dime with my realization that I have a chance to completely reinvent my life here! Stuck in my routines and growing bored of some of them, I decided to look at this as a blessing - who said I was done making new friends and trying new things?! Maybe I needed the ground to crumble beneath me so that I can rebuild my life here. Thus, this is an exciting challenge, I'm determined, and I can't wait to see what comes of it!
As far as my life questions go, I've come to a resolution there, too. I am currently at peace with where my life is now and where it's taking me. All my life, I thought I had to know exactly what I wanted and get it, or I'd be a failure. Thankfully, I am no longer scared to death of doing one thing, changing directions, and still figuring everything out. I know that it's unrealistic to expect that a person's first "it" job is what will make him or her the happiest and continue to do so for his or her entire career. Many people's careers evolve along with their lives. Perhaps what I feared before was more the uncertainty of not having a path and a direction, something to work toward, something secure. I know now that I don't have to be a CEO or a lawyer or a doctor or some bigshot to be happy and successful. On the contrary, I may be happier if I'm not any of those things. I don't have to have my job label me as intelligent or powerful to be worthwhile and respected. I want people to know me and like me for who I am rather than what my job says about me. Instead, I'm excited about having my relationships and experiences color who I am while I cultivate my talents and interests. Hopefully, somewhere down the road, some of them will merge and culminate in a job that truly suits me. Until then, I'm ok with searching, figuring it all out one job, one step at a time. Whether or not I find that "it" job, my career won't define who I am, for I will still have me - most important of all. I am in a great place right now - less afraid of and more excited for what the future holds for me! I want to find what job or jobs make me happy and use my talents, and I believe that by listening to my heart and having faith, I will find that.
As far as my life questions go, I've come to a resolution there, too. I am currently at peace with where my life is now and where it's taking me. All my life, I thought I had to know exactly what I wanted and get it, or I'd be a failure. Thankfully, I am no longer scared to death of doing one thing, changing directions, and still figuring everything out. I know that it's unrealistic to expect that a person's first "it" job is what will make him or her the happiest and continue to do so for his or her entire career. Many people's careers evolve along with their lives. Perhaps what I feared before was more the uncertainty of not having a path and a direction, something to work toward, something secure. I know now that I don't have to be a CEO or a lawyer or a doctor or some bigshot to be happy and successful. On the contrary, I may be happier if I'm not any of those things. I don't have to have my job label me as intelligent or powerful to be worthwhile and respected. I want people to know me and like me for who I am rather than what my job says about me. Instead, I'm excited about having my relationships and experiences color who I am while I cultivate my talents and interests. Hopefully, somewhere down the road, some of them will merge and culminate in a job that truly suits me. Until then, I'm ok with searching, figuring it all out one job, one step at a time. Whether or not I find that "it" job, my career won't define who I am, for I will still have me - most important of all. I am in a great place right now - less afraid of and more excited for what the future holds for me! I want to find what job or jobs make me happy and use my talents, and I believe that by listening to my heart and having faith, I will find that.
Arise, your light is come!
The Spirit's call obey;
Show forth the glory of your God,
Which shines on you today.
Arise, your light is come!
Fling wide the prison door:
Proclaim the captives' liberty;
Good tidings to the poor.
Arise, your light is come!
All you in sorrow born,
Build up the broken-hearted ones
And comfort those who mourn.
Arise, your light is come!
The mountains burst in song!
Rise up like eagles on the wing;
God's power will make us strong!
- Hymn 411... we sang it in church today, and I thought it was too perfect :)
Gingerbread house I made with the kids!
Janelle in Paris on New Year's Eve...10 minutes to midnight!
With the Eiffel Tower...blue for the last time
2009!!!! Fireworks and the blue fades away...
Happy New Year, everyone!
2 comments:
Adriana, you have such insight at such a young age. The beauty of your spirit certainly shines through. Take care and happy new year. Glad that you and Janelle had fun on New Year's Eve.
Mmmgirl I love you, but you need to update your blogz. :)
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